I got into the university at the age of 15 and I had become broken yet hardened. My father had become a ghost of himself. Consumed in work, he had no time for me so I sought for friendship in the wrong places. I later discovered that the death of my mum had led him into depression.
I had so much money. Rather, my dad had so much money and spending was.not a problem for me. I found friends who were ready to spend the money too. God? Who was he? Well I heard a lot about him while growing up, until my mother died. I wasn’t sure I still knew who he was. He was maybe just some big guy up there that no one could see or touch but he was there anyway.
My sad didn’t really care about me or maybe he was just consumed with his grief and sadness that he could not see beyond it. I started drinking, then upgraded to smoking. I wasn’t even smoking regular cigarettes. I was doing crack. At the age of 17. At a point, I started mixing crack with alcohol. I could even take as high as 50% vol. It helped me forget all that was wrong, at least till I regained my senses. Apparently, there was the vacuum none of these could feel.
After a while, I began to hallucinate. I mean asides from times when I was high, I could hear voices and sometimes even see faces. It was that bad.
Ìrètíọ̀la took a sip of water from her glass and paused for a moment. She could hear her heart beat. The room was that silent.
“One day” she continued
It was around 6:50pm and I had drank so much and smoked as much too. I had began seeing those faces and hearing those voices. As much as I tried to stop them, I couldn’t. I woke up at almost 11pm with so much pain. There was this elderly woman sitting by me who told me the story of how I was walking in the middle of the road at night and she didn’t see me coming. She hit me and rushed me to the hospital. She had been praying for me to wake up and she was grateful to God that I just did.
I couldn’t even move an arm as all the parts of my body screamed pain. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep. The nurse had probably given me anaesthesia.
I quietly slipped back into oblivion