It’s the third day after school resumed and I’m not exactly sure of what I want to do in the future. I fancy the seniors who wear lab coats at least once a week and so, I think I want to take science courses but, I also cannot do without novel selections from my mum’s library. It means I like to take art courses too.
Thankfully, I can combine sciences and arts in my first year of senior secondary school. Many new students have resumed and amonng them Is Godwin. he’s very slim, caramel-chocolatey-darkey handsome young guy. I’m just 13 and I don’t know so much about love matters but he definitely seems like someone I’ll like to keep for myself, at least until I know what to do with the butterflies in my tummy.
It’s exactly 7 days to what would have been your 25th birthday. You’re about 3 months and 3 weeks older than I am so I know in non-leap-year years, our birthdays fall on the same day of the week.
I sometimes really forget that you have crossed over and I am still on this side of heaven. I open our WhatsApp chat every now and then and almost send you messages before grief grips my heart like cold iron prison bars that I can’t escape from
I have tried writing this letter for almost two months but I’ve just not been able. Not that completing it now will make me forget you but it’ll help me come to terms with the fact that we’ll meet in the golden city and reign with God forever.
To think Ifeoluwa was the only name I liked to call you when you joined us in TCSS, even though you didn’t like me calling you because, the name was reserved for only special people.
I really hope that somehow, you get to read this and laugh. If not for this, for the many questions I have asked after you left. I must have asked one thousand and one questions about heaven. Can you see us? Can you hear us? Are you just sleeping or in hibernation? Are you strolling with God? Or singing? (I’m sure it doesn’t matter anymore that your voice isn’t so great😂) Do you pity us who are still below and wish we can join you asap?
My thoughts are quite jumbled right now but I think you’d understand. I feel guilty sometimes too. How is it that you had been plying that route for years and just the day after I got to see you again….
I can feel you laughing at me right now but honestly, that’s how I feel. Is there something I didn’t do right? Was I insensitive to something God was saying? Did I jinx your journey? Maybe I’ll feel less burdened by guilt now that I get to say it. Or not.
We love you Godwin and miss you. Grace and Itunu are doing pretty well and holding up but in all, we really miss you.
I have to keep writing for as long as I’m on this side of heaven because I’ll always remember how much you believed in my ability and how limitless you thought the words I write are. This is a promise I hope to never break.
I’ve seen, again, some of the pictures we took in high school and it sure did make me laugh. Good times to be really honest. Good times are coming again, where everything will be as perfect as it should be.
Tell God we love Him and if you see my grandma, greet her for me. I look at the sky too, hoping to see the clouds form a picture of you smiling. Maybe you can tell God to give me as a wedding present?😉😉
Last year was something else for many of us. We
lost got separated from our loved ones and we hurt. Sometimes grief is quiet, just observing us. Other days, it’s pulling with its aggressive claws at the very core of our hearts. Somehow, we just keep pushing.
Don’t give in to despair. The Lord is our comfort. You can my rendition of ‘the golden city’ here.
The Lord is with you dear friend.
Love and light
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